postponing-motherhood

Postponing Motherhood and Relying on Fertility Treatments to Achieve Pregnancy

By Cecilia Green

Published on December 20, 2007

In general, women are choosing to have children later in life than they once did. Most well-known are female celebrities such as Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Marcia Cross, Helen Hunt, Geena Davis, and Halle Berry, all of whom became pregnant in their forties. Even more notable are Adriana Iliescu and Carmen Bousada de Lara, who both made headlines for giving birth at the age of 66. This trend, which allows women to focus on their careers and enjoy a leisurely lifestyle before committing to the demands of motherhood, has led many older women to rely on fertility treatments in order to conceive, sparking a heated public debate in the process.

I have a unique perspective on the issue because, though fertility treatments were not involved in my conception, my mom was 42 years old when I was born. Luckily, in my case, I had both my parents and four older siblings to help raise me, but I imagine that my mom would have had a difficult time if I had been her first child, especially if I had been born with health problems or a disability. The way I see it, starting a family at an older age puts both the mother and child at a disadvantage. It seems to me that every woman needs to decide what her priorities are and, if she can’t pursue her professional goals and be a mother simultaneously, she needs to decide whether she wants to make her mark in this world through a professional career or by raising a family. If she chooses to pursue a career first and start a family later, she must understand that if she waits too long, bearing her own children may not be an option.

Getting Pregnant Later in Life

It is easier for a woman to get pregnant before the age of 35 because she generally has a large quantity of high-quality eggs. However, as a woman ages, both the number and the quality of her eggs begin to decline, which leaves her with fewer chances to become pregnant. Thus, even if a woman is still menstruating in her forties, she may not be able to conceive a child without medical help. While there are fertility treatments that can help women to conceive even after menopause, getting pregnant later in life may not be in the best interest of a mother or her child.

High-Risk Pregnancy

According to the March of Dimes, women who achieve pregnancy after the age of 35 are generally at increased risk for high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, and placenta previa (a condition in which the placenta covers the cervix). These women are also more likely to have a miscarriage or a baby born with chromosomal birth defects, such as Down syndrome. In addition, older women with fertility problems may need in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment in order to conceive. As a result, they often conceive more than one child, which increases the likelihood of premature birth(s). Premature birth can pose health risks including vision or hearing loss, cerebral palsy, lung disease, and gastrointestinal problems.

Older women who achieve pregnancy often put their own health, as well as the health of their child, at risk. Having an age restriction on fertility treatments could protect older women from high-risk pregnancy, and also help to prevent miscarriages, birth defects, and premature births.

Fertility Treatments

Many women who conceive a child later in life do so by relying on fertility treatments. These treatments may involve screening out eggs with chromosomal abnormalities or using eggs donated from younger women. For older women to resort to fertility treatments because they are no longer able to conceive naturally is unethical. The demand for donor eggs is greater than the supply, and many women spend years on waiting lists before they can undergo treatment. Older women, who had their chance to start a family when they were younger but chose not to, are now on waiting lists for donor eggs, which is unfair to younger women whose priority is to start a family but need fertility treatment in order to do so. If fertility clinics had regulations in place, older women could be placed further down on the list, allowing younger women to receive treatments.

Other Things to Consider

In more extreme instances, such as those in which 66-year-old women are using fertility treatments to have children, it is important to question whether it is fair to the children for their mothers to conceive so late in life. Some women are very active in their sixties and seventies, but will they have the energy to keep up with an active toddler? What will happen to the child if the mother gets sick or passes away? It seems that some women who want to have children in their later years do so without really taking into account the quality of life that their child will have as a result.

Regulations Needed

In order to protect the welfare of older women and children, and to give younger women who have fertility problems an opportunity to start their families, there should be regulations for fertility treatment. Whether doctors are given guidelines to follow, or a strict age limit is put in place, there must be some criteria to determine who is eligible to receive fertility treatment.

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Keyword Tags: female infertility, egg donation, ivf, getting pregnant

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Comments

1

pretty unfair to start imposing age restrictions on how late a woman can choose to have a child...kind of like telling an individual what they can or can't do with their own life. I guess its a good thing that they didn't tell your mom that she was too old to have you. But then again you're not talking about restrictions on you personally, just every one else who is going through the personal trial and horrible ordeal of trying to have a child. Its not your body and its not your decision to make. For that matter it really shouldn't be any of your business!

just me
about 1 year ago

2

I am over 35 and trying to get pregnant, my mom had me at 39 and her mom had her at 43. I am ready to have a baby and put them # 1 in my life, as I see a lot of young ones who act like the baby is a burden. I guess age discrimination comes in all forms.

Crystal
about 1 year ago

3

Right on Crystal! As a 34 y o woman who hasn't concieved because I can't get a man, I am soooooo sick of "mothers" rubbing my nose in their babies' diapers. I am seriously considering having IUI later this year or next year, because I dont want my chances of having my own baby destroyed by a hypothetical baby daddy or husband that probably has never existed for me, and I obviously dont have 4ever. So many young women hate their kids, untill they see a spinster like me then they start sticking their noses in the air...I gues it's like that old saying, youth is wasted on the young? I would gladly give up everything i have to have what these spoilt young women have- their pick of men and babies to boot.

C. R.
about 1 year ago

4

My sister just had twins without any treatment at 41 and they were full term and 100% healthy. I am trying at 44 and am fully aware of the energy involved, having raised four younger siblings. How preachy your article is: The best advantage a child can have is having a parent that really wants them; whether the parent or parents are young or old. Some of us have put off having children Due to trying to find the right partner, or taking care of sick realtives or bringing up other family members kids; it not just about careeers! If it's your dream to have a child you owe it to yourself to try, and like all great things some element of risk is involved.

liz
about 1 year ago

5

When I first read this article, I felt some of the outrage that the other posters are apparently feeling, too. But then I re-read it and noticed that the author's argument, while certainly controversial, is laced with qualifications that I think some people might be missing. Nowhere in the article does she suggest that older women shouldn't have children, or that they shouldn't try. I don't necessarily agree that younger women are more deserving of the too-few donor eggs that are available than older women, but I don't think it's an invalid point, either. After all, nature is the greatest discriminator against age. When a woman *must* rely on fertility treatments simply because she has reached the point where it's biologically feasable for her to have a baby, it's not difficult to understand how a younger woman suffering from a medical condition that prevents her from getting pregnant might feel a little upset at being given the same priority on the donor-egg waiting list. In any case, this article doesn't seem to be pointing any fingers at women in their mid-30s and early-40s; the author specifically makes her case against women in their 60s and 70s. Again, I'm not sure whether I agree, but I think the author's only real fault is in not being specific as to where an age limit should be set.

Joe Walker
about 1 year ago

6

C.R. I am in the same boat! I am 35, turning 36 in 4 months and have yet to find the "right man" that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Meanwhile, I am getting concerned because the longer I wait to find "him" the older I get. I too am considering having an IUI next year, but am concerned of the discrimination I may face by choosing to bring a baby into this world as a single parent. You are right, those young mothers who seem to resent their husbands and children will be the first to critisize me and my choice to do this before it is too late!

ser
about 1 year ago

7

Gotta love the way nothing is said about male infertility. And why didn't you suggest putting an age restriction on sperm donation? And how come you didn't specify an exact age cutoff, rather choosing to be very vague in your suggestion? How envious you must be of those 40-something women who have it all (insert your definition of 'all' here) and can now even have a child! When you look at me you will definitely turn a very vivid shade of green :). Good luck to EVERY woman trying to conceive!

Jenna
about 1 year ago

8

I turned 47 last February, sad to say I had my last menstruation May this year (2008). I still want to get pregnant. Fortunately my fiancee is waiting for me and we wanted a baby. How can we make it possible for me to get pregnant with our own.

dianne
about 1 year ago

9

Your comments are based on discrimination. Not all older women wanting to have children chose their careers first over starting a family. Some women found love later in life instead of choosing the first person they date and having children at age 15 etc. Every situation is different so putting an older women on the bottom of the egg donor list because of her proper choices is ridiculous and you call your self a Health Care Provider.

Pathetic......

av
about 1 year ago

10

My mom had my youngest brother at age 40, so age has nothing to do with it, but there are certain criteria that has to be taken into consideration. Let's be realistic and not go into automatic defense mode.

1) If you're older than 50, is it your first child and are you married? The reason this question must be asked is because realistically anything could happen and at a certain age people become more frail and teenagers need parenting. Siblings or a spouse could take over when you are no longer there or in a position to be a care giver.

2) The collective age of the couple should not exceed 130. if both parents are 70, let's be honest, they are being utterly selfish bringing a child into the world who will soon be orphaned.

3) People on welfare should not be considered for IVF treatments. If they can't afford to look after children, should everybody else be paying for them?

There is a field called bioethics in which doctors are faced with problems we would never encounter.

I have children and I cannot imagine being so sel-centred that you cannot plan for their future.

Elle
about 1 year ago

11

My mother had me at 20. She and my father died at 25 in an car accident. My Grandmother raised me. She is an active, heatlhy 88 year old. Younger people can die before older people. Just because a person has a child at an advanced age dosen't mean their going to leave their children helpless orphans.

Lizzy
about 1 year ago

12

This article is so preachy, and prejudiced, and untruthful, that it makes me want to gag. No one can say when parents will die. My mother had me when she was just 21, and died of long illness when she was only 42. She never saw me get my Ph.D, get married, and do all the wonderful things I've done with my life. I mourne her almost everyday of my life. Contrast her life with that of my grandmother (father's mother), who bore her last child when she was 45, and lived an active life until 90. She saw her last child not only get married and have his own child, but also saw this grandchild finish college. It is so ridiculous (!) to put an age restriction on motherhood.

Young mothers can also be unhealthy. My neighbour is a very obese 29 year old and is a mother of a two-year old. She is physically in no condition to run behind a toddler, play with her, or supervise her. I on the other hand, a 40 year old manages the child very well. Parenting is influenced by how physically fit the parent is, not about the age of the parent.

vasan
11 months ago

13

The age of the mother is extremely important in the decision to have a child..especially if you're single and older and wanting a baby. Besides the health risks to both mother and child, who will look after the child if something happens to the single older mother in her late 40's? If you have a child at 49, when your child is 11, you'll be sixty. People will think you're the grandma instead of the mother. I know my single SIL wants a child at this age, just to cure her loneliness...I say get a dog! It is selfish to bring a child into the world because of the choices you made in the way you live your life, and to satisfy your own emotional emptiness. How will she support her child if she becomes unemployed? What about if she has a major health event? She's already got high bloodpressure, and fat around the waist. These are risk factors. These clinics should not be allowed to serve people who are not within appropriate health and age factors...not to mention socio-economic and mental states.

j
6 months ago

14

To say that older woman "chose" not to conceive is ignorant at best. There are countless reasons that have nothing to do with "waiting" or putting your career first. One should think carefully before using such a strong word as "unethical".

ABKansai
2 months ago

15

Cecelia Green - I hope you are young and able to have children if you wish. But please have some sympathy for those of us who aren't, through no fault of our own. This article is bad publicity for a fertility website. I wonder - does Docshop really know what they're potential customers are reading? This article is really discouraging and I wish, Cecelia, you would publish an apology.

Jennifer
about 1 month ago

16

This is an upsetting article and gives no real information nor shows any insight into the myriad of reasons a woman is not able to concieve prior to the age of 40. You try nursing your husband for many years knowing that until he is free of this world you cannot recommence your life. I made the decision to not get pregnant prior til now- not that he was well enough to anyway- because I couldn't have cared for him and a child nor could I have put a child through watching him slowly die. So Cecilia, I don't want everything, I just want something- a family. And I'm pretty fucked off that you assume that that women over 40 who are just trying to concieve have delayed motherhood in favour of 'a career and a more leisurely lifestyle' and at a time where I want just a tiny bit of reassurance and compassion for all the fears I have, your article has done nothing other than make me cry and ache and feel more alone and abandoned and hopeless than I have in a really long time.

Arsey
6 days ago

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