Fertility Male Sympathy Pains

Male Sympathy Pains: Pregnancy Myth or an Unpleasant Reality?

By Sarah Harper

Published on July 31, 2008

Oh, the symptoms of pregnancy: indigestion, bloating, food cravings, weight gain, constipation, nausea, vomiting, backache, irritability…these are enough to make most men happily embrace even the more unpleasant parts of their role in carrying a child: doing more housework, walking on eggshells, and fetching pickles at midnight.

But do men really have such an easy ride during pregnancy? Not necessarily. Some sources suggest that a man who cohabitates with a pregnant woman can experience symptoms of pregnancy, in a phenomenon known as couvade syndrome, or sympathy pains. Although scientific evidence of couvade is sparse, some researchers estimate that up to 80 percent of fathers-to-be experience it.

The Reality of Sympathy Pains: Not a Pregnancy Myth

The testimonies of some new and expectant fathers, along with emerging research, suggest that sympathy pains are not a pregnancy myth.

“My chocolate consumption increased massively.” – New father

Sympathy pregnancy symptom: physical changes

A study of 37 couples, conducted by Swiss psychotherapist and researcher Tiziana Perini, found definite physical and behavioral distinctions between couples who were childless and those who were expecting their first child. The expectant fathers experienced mood swings and appetite and weight fluctuations, whereas the unexpectant men did not. One father interviewed by Swiss television concurs: “My chocolate consumption increased massively.” Perini hypothesizes that men’s hormone levels change during their mates’ pregnancies in order to help men feel more involved in the pregnancy.

“Despite all the nausea, the sleep deprivation and the coping with weight gain, I know that we wouldn't have had it any other way.” – Expectant father

Sympathy pregnancy symptom: emotional changes

Drs. Katherine Wynne-Edwards and Anne Storey, Canadian researchers, examined hormone levels of men at various stages during their partners’ pregnancies. They found that the men had high levels of prolactin, estradiol, and cortisol – hormones responsible for aggression and stress responsiveness. Since these hormones occur in low levels in unexpectant men, Wynne-Edwards and Storey postulate that, in higher levels, the hormones give men the endurance and drive to nurture and protect necessary for the tasks of fatherhood. One expectant father would agree: “Despite all the nausea, the sleep deprivation and the coping with weight gain, I know that we wouldn't have had it any other way.”

What Causes Sympathy Pains?

Psychosomatic Responses

Psychology-based theories suggest that symptoms of couvade may be physical manifestations of a man’s subconscious attempts to adjust to the pregnancy. During his partner’s pregnancy, a man may manifest symptoms in order to (subconsciously) identify with his partner, bond with the fetus, assert his paternity, or reclaim his wife’s attention.

Hormonal Fluctuations

As mentioned, a man’s fluctuating hormone levels during his partner’s pregnancy may contribute to sympathy pains.

Stress - A simpler explanation may be that, like any major life change, preparing for fatherhood is stressful. Sympathy pains may merely be an outlet for that stress.

Circadian rhythms – The changes in a couple’s daily life during pregnancy may disturb a man’s circadian rhythms – his daily biochemical, physiological, and behavioral processes – enough to cause sympathy pains.

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Keyword Tags: during pregnancy, men

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Comments

1

We just found out that my wife is pregnant.I got sick out of the blue and we have been trying to conceive for two and a half months. She decided to take a hpt and it turned out positive.Ever since i have been craving things i never eat.It's kind of messing with my head because with her first pregnance i didn't feel any cravings or nothing like i do now.

anthony
about 1 year ago

2

Hi my name is brandon dominick and my wife is pregnant with our second child and im feeling really strange. Foods i would normally eat is now starting to bother me. Ive went to doctors and all my vital signs are fine my blood work was fine i just need some answers because i dont know whats going on. my symptoms are indigestion everything i eat just seems to make me burp for a long time i also have muscle cramps, headaches, mood swings do you think its couvade syndrome my e-mail is brandon.dominick@gmail.com thanks

brandon dominick
about 1 year ago

3

My girlfriend is 4 1/2 months pregnant. Before I was calm and collected, however, now I'm highly sensitive, melancholic at times over the smallest things. I'm usually outgoing and chipper but not lately. I don't know what is it is, but I'd like to be feeling 'normal' again. Its got to be couvade syndrome as am a sensitive guy, I'm in touch with my partner's emotions so maybe she rubbed off on me lol.

anton
about 1 year ago

4

Hi my name's Bryan Anderson, my girlfriend is nearly 3 months pregnant with our first child. I don't know what's going on but I've been having a lot of indigestion, everytime I see something on T.V. or a movie or even in public with a father and child or a family being happy I've gotten a lot more sensative and feel like crying. And sometimes I lose it and actually do. My back's hurt me for several years but within the last month and a half it's increased significantly. I'm losing sleep at night. My girlfriend doesn't want sex very often but I find myself wanting it on a daily basis, sometimes more than once a day. I always figured the woman was supposed to feel this way.

Bryan Anderson
10 months ago

5

yeah..i'm deffinitally thinking my boyfriend has these sympathy pains! he's been feeling sick to his stomach and having stomach pains ever since we found out i was pregnant.

Jay
9 months ago

6

I always thought this was a myth. My husband wasn't with me during most of our first pregnancy. He did not have the symptoms then. When I became pregnant the second time, he is back home and now he has the same exact pains I do, before I even tell him. He has experienced almost all symptoms I have, everything from head aches, nausea, cravings and more recently, nerve pains in the left leg, the same day I started having it. I totally believe in sympathy pains now.

Karma Widows
9 months ago

7

YO,MY NAME LIL PENUT AND MY BABYMAMA PREGNANT WIT OUR SECOND BABY AND UHH, I BE HUNGRY ALL THE TIME, ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT,EAT,EAT. IT'S NOT A CERTAIN FOOD I CRAVE , I JUST WANA EAT ANYTHING THAT LOOK OR SMEEL GOOD NOW IM SKINNY WITH A FAT BELLY, THIS GOTTA BE CUZ SHE PREGNANT CUZ IM NOT FEELIN LIKE ME, IM GOING TO MICKY D's BYE!!!

DORIEN
9 months ago

8

Hi my name is Darlene and Im not pregnant but my best friend is. Its very weird because i didnt even know this existed. Like when we're in school I always feel weird and most sore with backaches and my neck sometimes hurts..I dont know what goin on ! lol plz help!

Darlene
8 months ago

9

ok some weird stuff has been goinn on lately. my best friend is pregnant, and i have been getting these werid cravings for food, i am sick like all the time, i pee like crazy and my back hurts... i went to doctor cuzz i thought i was pregnant but im not. i dont know what is going on with me!! do i have sympathy pregnancy??

mickey
8 months ago

10

I must admit that i have definatley experienced my girlfriends synthoms by going through the same things that she has been going through, such as fatigue and depression as well.I found it quite surprising that i can feel some of the same things that she is expiriencing.The funny thing is that it seems to happen at the same time. Keep your head up fathers cause i feel the exact same thing!

kintie
8 months ago

11

My wife is 7 months preg and for the last month I have had very tender nipples (no joke) and more recently I squezed them and a small amount of browning liquid came out which looks like the same stuff that preceeds breast milk in woman. I am going to the doctor for it next week to find out for sure but it's looking more and more like sympathy pains. Now in the 3rd trimester I'm even seem to be more horny and turned on then I had been in the last few months.

Artemus
7 months ago

12

I am now in my 24th week of pregnancy, half-way there and my boyfriend, the father of my child is miserable. We spoke with my OBGYN in the first trimester as he was the one feeling nausea every morning as I only had about 2-3 bouts of morning sickness, usually due to the doctor's prescribed prenatal medication. As with some of you that I have read, he was usually a very happy go-lucky, chipper individual, but he has noticed that he has had extreme mood swings, to the point of nearly crying over the smallest things. He has also experienced EXTREME indigestion while mine has been quite tame. A couple of tums and I'm usually good whereas, tums or any other antacids make his worse. I could go into more, personal details regarding his digestion problems, but I'll spare you the really gross news.
I have to admit, this stuff is no joke and all he can do is hope that it goes away after the baby is born.

Amber
7 months ago

13

my daughter is pregnant, i am going through sympathy pregnancy with her - I am 50 years old and have another child who is 27 - my daughter is 17 - I am the mother - no lie - i have gained weight, have pains in my side and back - eat like i can't get enough - crave things that i never eat - i now look like i am at least 4 months pregnant - go figure

grandman
7 months ago

14

my name is john my girlfriend is 22 weeks pregnant and i av been getting serious stomache pains everytime i eat i can feel the food dropping and all i want to do is a great big fart but it never happens bad dreams at night and lack of sleep and legs in pain as though i have done a ten mile run

john
7 months ago

15

hey my name is tete i am 36 weeks pregnant i guess my baby father who is also the father of my first son gets symptoms. i noticed him eating more sleeping until 3pm everday and he has alot of hartburn and also his back hurts.

tempestt
6 months ago

16

well this is wierd i broke up with my girlfriend a little more than a month ago and just last week on monday i started barfing every morning i thought i was sick but then i also noticed that i was tired and felt really sleepy nd food was nothing i could think of then tues day i find out my ex is pregnant so im like thats why all of this is happening then my best friend tells me that when we broke up she was involved with her ex nd so it could also be his wen she told him he said abot the kid ill pay for it but are these symptoms a way of the baby telling me that i am the father and to fight for him well as soon as the babys momma tells me shes pregnant i want dates and if its mine im keeping it and that makes me very hapy..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raul
6 months ago

17

Does having these symptoms always mean you are the father of the baby? I had these symptoms but still at doubt if I'm the father or not.

antwan Austin
6 months ago

18

My boyfriend told me that one of his friends told him that if the expecting father doesn't have any urge to sleep it might not be his. Is this true

sherine
5 months ago

19

This so true I'm 26 weeks pregnant wit my first. The father sleeps aall day until he has 2 b to work at 3. He's sick n I'm not n his back hurts so he carries my pain instead of me

dannie
5 months ago

20

hay my best friend may be four months pregnant. and lately i have been eating weird stuff like fish topped with whipped cream, corn dogs and syrup. Could this mean that she is pregnant? by the way i am a male.

k
4 months ago

21

Its not just men!
I'm currently living with my daughter who is 7 months pregnant. We are very close and I'm experiencing very strong sympathy sign of pregnancy. I've got almost every symptom she has. It's very frustrating and it's as real feeling as anything. I've had a baby, I know and remember these signs. Bloating, swelling, heavy feeling at the cervix, eating more, extreme fatigue and on and on. I've got em all!
Just wanted to point out that it's not just husbands. My theory is it's anyone who is physically and mentally close and connected with the mom to be.

At least when this is all over I won't be changing any diapers :)

Jacqueline Swanson
3 months ago

22

Has anyone every heard of or experienced sympathy pains as a new grandma to be? My daughter is expecting her first child and I"ll be a first time grandma and I'm telling you I feel so pregnant!!!!!!

Belinda
3 months ago

23

My symptoms didn't start til eight and a half months into the pregnancy and they got pretty bad. I had nasusea, vomiting, indigestion, stomach cramps, loss of appetite and sleepiness.
When it first started I didn't know what was going on. Then a friend told me about couvade syndrome. Still getting the symptoms, I went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't anything else. They ran blood work and did a full physical. They found nothing wrong with me. During all this I was having anxiety attacks. Thinking maybe it was something they didn't find. I'm ready for the baby to be born so all this can go away! Has anyone else ever got it this bad?

George
3 months ago

24

hey im 27 weeks 2morrow..an me an my boyfriend is having our 1st child..He new i was pregnant before i even knew...he started to eat more sweets an got sick at times. when i was like 4months he got sick starting to get really tired am slept all day an night..now im 6 months an when i cant sleep he cant either..or when im sick or have a pain somewhere he feels it to...pregnancy is crazy

new mom09
3 months ago

25

Hi. My wife is 16wks pregnant today. All my life I have neveer had to think about what I eat, my weight and my overall body image. I excercise regularly, I rock climb and ride my bike. Since my wife became pregnant I have developed a bulging tummy, really bad indigestion/heartburn after I eat most things and I now no longer take bowel movements for granted - i would normally defecate 3 times per day, now it's once a day. I feek uncomfortable much of the time and now my feet are beginning to ache. How common is this?

Jay Dee313
3 months ago

26

My finacee has been having back pains,headaches,and he has been sleeping more than usual for the last few days and i've been feeling a little nauseated but it seems like he feels worst than i do...Could this mean im pregnant?

Ebony
2 months ago

27

Hi my name is Ryan. My wife is 4 months pregnant. I dont know what is wrong but I can never get full. I eat more sweet stuff than I ever have before. I eat ice cream and 9 am and at 9pm. I have more cravings than my pregnant wife. I used to have more control over my appetite.

Ryan
2 months ago

28

I'm starting to think this sympathy pregnancy is more real then the doctors try and say. My fioncee and i are 12.5 weeks pregnant with her second child and she has experienced morning sickness and emotional swings earlier on. For the last three weeks i've been getting back pain and two nights ago i was woken suddenly with server nausea and this was replicated just now. Seems i am now the one suffering from the morning sickness instead of her! I've also had strange cravings and been feeling slightly more emotional then normal lately. They really should do more research into this.

Richard
2 months ago

29

Yes I definately think that men do get sympathy pregnancy symptoms. My husband couldn't smell coffee, was nauseated all the time (especially when first waking up) and had back pains while we were expecting our 1st. We have been TTC these last few months and think I may be pregnant now because hubby has been getting the same symptoms as when I was pregnant before (we are in the two week wait at the moment). Strange thing is ....I get no symptoms but he does...so I thank him for taking it all away :-)

Chrissy
about 1 month ago

30

could the depo shot prevent the pregnant test to show neg

tweety27
about 1 month ago

31

baby gal
im about 4 weeks pregnant and all the father of my child do is eat eat and throw up, i didnt get sick but he still is.
the only things i got is backaches, headaches and eating and sleeping more oh yeah and mood swing hell of a pregnancy rigth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

denise
about 1 month ago

32

How is it that i have managed to have sympathy pains and had my partners cravings for fish when i cant stand the taste of it but love it at the moment and she craves it but cant eat it and while i had the cravings we were miles away and hadnt spoken so how does that work

matthew lidbury
26 days ago

33

my friend has been craving pickles and ice cream. my male friend. he said that he gets mad or ill at the end of the school day because all he wants to do is go home and eat pickles and ice cream. he has been gettin sick every morning too. i asked him if his girlfriend has any symtoms of pregnancy, he said no. could this mean his girlfriend could be pregnant?

caf
24 days ago

34

my girlfriend is 6 months pregnant and now lives 2,000 miles away we talk every night and over the past few months ive gained a tremendous amount of weight,weird cravings... like pickles and salsa kinda cravings and now my nipples are sooo sore, and i have a killer backache and she has the exact same symptoms... shes the one who told me i might be experiencing this.

Kameron
22 days ago

35

I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I boyfriend was vomiting the week prior and i decided to take a test... Now he is having cravings... whats next?

Viviana
16 days ago

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