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Excuse Me, Sir, but Are Those Real?

Excuse Me, Sir, but Are Those Real?


"Come on!"

"Three more reps!"

"Do it!"

"What, are ya gonna cry?!"

"Are you a man or what?!”

"Lift! Lift! Liiiiiiiifffffffftttt!"

As empowering and compassionate as those words can be coming from coaches, personal trainers, fathers, and the like, sometimes men just can't make that one last little push of the barbell, butterfly curl, bicep curl, pick-your-training-mechanism. This may be one explanation as to why an increasing number of men are turning away from the gym and opting for cosmetic muscle implants as a way to improve their physique.

Pec implants? Check.

Bicep implants? Available.

Calf implants? Why not.

Face it, boys, most of us have always dreamt of looking like an Adonis. The chiseled physiques of the Greek Olympiads and the toned and sculpted bodies of such modern icons as movie stars, athletes, and Abercrombie & Fitch models set a standard for aesthetic excellence that many of us wish we could achieve. We want our bodies to look fit and strong, a visual testament to our fearless, confident, uber-masculine manly man-ness. After all, physical fitness is eye-catching. Most straight men want to be sexually desirable to women and inspire the envy of other men, while most gay men aim to attract and inspire the admiration of their equally buff brethren.

So what if we just can't get the tone and definition of the super-hotties we see at the gym day in and day out, no matter how hard we try? Or if we just don't have the motivation, energy, or time to spend pumping iron five times a week?

Societal and cultural taboos on men who have cosmetic surgery are slowly but surely breaking down, and more and more men from all walks of life are looking to buff their bodies immediately with muscle implants. Bigger chests, toned calves, chiseled biceps, and even rock-hard abs can now be provided to you by doctors, not just trainers.

Of course, there is a trade-off. Muscle implants can be expensive, running in the thousands of dollars. Plus, the implantation process is a surgical procedure that involves sedation, probably some pain, and ample recovery time. Patients are also expected to follow a healthy diet and exercise regimen to maintain results.

Muscle implants for men are a legitimate way of quickly getting your body to look the way you want it to look, but in my opinion they are no substitute for the sweat-inducing, stress-relieving, good old-fashioned workouts you can get at the gym for less money and a real sense of accomplishment.

Plus, people at the gym are hot.

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