His & Hers
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in His & Hers are just that – opinions. They should never be taken as the sort of advice or guidance you would get during a consultation with a reputable surgeon or other healthcare professional. Brian Vargo and Cecilia Green are contributing editors for DocShop. If they were reputable surgeons or healthcare professionals, they would own much bigger houses and drive much nicer cars – and probably not be contributing editors for DocShop. These articles should be taken as entertainment only, if that. DocShop and its employees are not liable for any actions taken as a result of reading this article.
Welcome to the first installment of “His & Hers,” a feature in which two of DocShop’s editors weigh in with their opinions on issues raised by our regular News & Features readers. While the title may suggest some sort of battle of the sexes, be assured that Brian and Cecilia – or “B&C” as you may address them in your emails – occasionally agree. Very occasionally. Verbal jabs may fly from time to time, but it’s all in the name of an open exchange of ideas, both serious and light-hearted.
In the first “His & Hers,” Brian and Cecilia are fielding questions from people in the general vicinity of DocShop’s sunny San Diego-area headquarters. We invite readers from across the country to email their questions to “B&C” at firstname.lastname@example.org.
From B to D – That Is the Question
I have been wanting breast implants for years, and now I’ve saved enough money to finally go through with it. I’ve always been skinny with small breasts, so now I want to go pretty big, maybe even a full C or D cup. My boyfriend says that I should go smaller because I won’t look “proportionate,” but I’d really like to have large breasts. What should I do?
- Gina from Temecula, CA
I won’t lie to you, Gina. When I was growing up in the 80s, I probably gave more thought to women’s breasts than I did to school, family, and sports combined. What really intrigued me about breasts was how different they were, one pair to the next. There was truly something aesthetically fulfilling in comparing breasts of different sizes and shapes (and probably textures, too, though at 14, I had little chance of finding out first hand, as it were). Now that I’m a grown, married man, I’m not as fixated on breasts as I was, but my wife would confirm that I was a liar if I said that they held no interest for me at all. Frankly, it doesn’t bother me that so many women have breasts that could not possibly exist in nature these days. What does bother me a bit is how little variety there is in the appearances of these large-breasted, narrow-waisted women. Where’s the fun in that, particularly for the nation’s overheated 14-year-old boys? In all seriousness, I say go as big as you please, but make sure that you entrust your breasts to a surgeon whose artistic sensibilities allow him to produce results that are unique and perfectly tailored to you. I’m sure your boyfriend will be more likely to enjoy such results, and if he doesn’t, then I doubt you’ll have any difficulty finding suitors with different opinions on the matter.
“Go as big as you please” - don’t listen to that halfwit. Your boyfriend is right, bigger doesn’t necessarily mean better. It is important to be proportionate; otherwise you’ll just end up looking silly. I’ve seen so many women walking around with balloon-like breasts that stick out so far the poor gals can barely see their toes. It looks ridiculous, and I can’t see how it could be comfortable. Just imagine trying to keep your slim figure with those boulders constantly getting in your way every time you try to work out. There are other things you should consider too, like the attention that will inevitably come from having a chest size that is obviously not natural – people staring and whispering as you walk by. Some people can handle that sort of attention, some may even enjoy it, but if you don’t want it then don’t ask for it. Instead, go for a slightly larger cup size that is still proportionate to your slim figure. That way you’ll feel more confident about your appearance and others can at least entertain the idea that they might be real.
Veneers – Naturally Flawless or Flawlessly Unnatural?
My teeth are slightly crooked and a little discolored. When I heard about porcelain veneers, I thought they’d be a perfect solution for me. However, some of my friends say veneers look too white and it’s obvious that they’re not natural. I don’t want my teeth to look fake, but I do want to improve my smile. What do you think I should do?
- Taylor from Laguna Beach, CA
I would have to agree with your friends, veneers do look unnatural. I can’t imagine there are too many people born with bleach-white, cookie-cutter-straight teeth. And it’s so obvious when people get veneers because their smiles change drastically overnight. You say your teeth now are slightly crooked and discolored, so if tomorrow you have teeth like Jessica Simpson’s, where you practically need sunglasses to look at them, no one will believe they’re real. I would suggest making a more gradual change, one which allows you to keep your natural teeth. Consider teeth whitening, not the cheap over-the-counter stuff that could leave your teeth spotted or highly sensitive, but treatment like Zoom!® teeth whitening provided by your dentist. It’s quick and it can lighten your teeth a few shades making them appear whiter, but not unnatural. To align your teeth, consider Invisalign®, clear plastic, removable trays which act as an alternative to traditional braces. In just a few months your natural teeth will likely look far better than the fake veneers you’d pay thousands of dollars for.
Being the contrary soul I am, I have to disagree with Cecilia and your friends on the grounds that I think they’re missing the point of porcelain veneers and, possibly, most cosmetic procedures. I’d say the majority of folks out there have aesthetic flaws, some more obvious than others, that they’d like to correct. I, for example, am bald. Not balding, but Uncle-Fester-after-a-trim bald. If I go out and get hair transplants, my purpose is not to fool my friends and family into thinking that I magically got my hair back, or to convince them that I only wore hats in public to make a fashion statement. I’d be trying to correct a self-perceived flaw in my appearance, plain and simple. If the shape and color of your teeth are making you feel self-conscious, then veneers are a potentially ideal solution to your problem, especially if you do your homework and find an experienced, reputable dentist. If you’re concerned that people will think less of you because you care about your appearance, then perhaps you’re a bit too self-conscious for your own good. In either event, just because your friends and family will probably be attentive enough to know you’ve had work done doesn’t mean that your veneers will look “unnatural.” They’ll possibly look unflawed, but isn’t that the point? Doing what you can to achieve the appearance you desire is as natural a human trait as there is.
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